Anticipation for the King

Christmas is upon us, and this is the time of year when remembering what Christmas is all about. That’s right, Christmas Day Basketball games. In anticipation for the King, the Los Angeles Lakers solicitously wait for Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers to make their way to the Staples center for a likely exciting matchup. The Black Mamba (Kobe Bryant) has been playing especially well recently, even with the news of a broken finger on his non shooting hand….

They saw a bright and shining star, shining in the eastern sky...

Haha I really can’t write an entire blog post this close to Christmas about a “King” and talk about Lebron James and Kobe Bryant the whole time. I also can’t write a very typical blog post that is probably on 90% of blogs talking about the “real meaning of Christmas”. You see, every year right around/right before Christmas, I say to myself “I want this year to be different.” I don’t want to get caught up in who wants what, how much he spent on her, and the endless competition of trying to buy better and better stuff. And just as frequently, every year I find myself realizing that after much introspection, I had yet again “missed it”. I too became guilty of making the holiday all about what I want to buy vs. what I want to return. So last night, I sat up in my bed thinking about how I could make this year different. How I could not fall into the easy path of being caught up in stuff, and how I could look back at this holiday season saying “I got it, this was what Christmas is all about”. So, I had to start at the most logical place: “What is Christmas all about?” Now I think as many people probably know, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To say that so simply, rapes the story. The “Christmas Story” involves some of the most unlikely characters taking part in incredible events that ultimately affects us still today.

It’s really the story of a 14 year old girl who gets pregnant while engaged to be married to the love of her life. It’s the 14 year old virgin having to tell her fiancé that she is pregnant and that the baby isn’t his, and it really isn’t anyone’s; that she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit (Matt 1:18). It’s the story of her teenage husband making the decision to respect her enough to break their engagement privately to not disrespect her (the loss of virginity to an unmarried woman was a HUGE deal and would have meant serious ridicule and condemnation for a woman) or disgrace her publicly. It’s the story of that same boy being visited by an angel in his dream and staying with that girl even though the baby wasn’t his, and even though they weren’t married. Its the story that answers the questions surrounding YEARS of prophecy surrounding a promised savior. So, in establishing that the events that we celebrate aren’t necessarily always well displayed by our Precious Moments figurines, where do we come in? Well for starters, as it turns out, the 14 year old girl wasn’t lying; she gave birth to a baby that ended up really being God fully in the form of a man. That child’s life, death, and resurrection serve as our only chance at a right standing with God and opportunity to live with him in eternity.

Ok, but what does that mean to us when we are going to holiday parties, buying gifts for loved ones, and potentially being caught up in consumer gluttony? Factually, it makes sense for me to recognize the story of the birth of Christ, but how do I practically live out my recognition of that story in the events surrounding the celebration of Christmas? I think this is where I have normally missed it. I can recognize the story as true, and even be taken back by how amazing it must have been for the very unlikely cast to receive such an amazing gift, but I think it normally stops there, and goes straight into me looking at buying new shoes online or seeking out the expansion of my watch collection. So how do I make the connect? Well I guess I’m not really sure. If I knew, I probably would have done it awhile ago so I wouldn’t live each year thinking that I had someone “missed it”. The economy has been tough this year, job loses have affected most all families, and Christmas may not be what it has been in the past for those with family members in the active military. But that is ok. It’s ok that things aren’t what they were last year. It’s ok that people have gotten older, and maybe a little rounder. It’s ok that we may or may not have faced hardships this year. I want Christmas to be about celebrating the story of a birth with crazy circumstances with the people I love. I don’t want to be caught up in stuff; what I have, what I don’t have, or what I want. I want to take the time to enjoy the moments I have, with the people I care about. Christmas is about more than just spending time with family, its recognizing that we may not have next year, and we know that no matter what, next year wont be the same, so enjoy and savor the moments of this year, while celebrating the birth of our savior.

Don’t miss this year; there won’t be another one exactly like it. Take the time to enjoy that odd relative. Listen to those around you, comfort those who have had a rough year, don’t make the holiday all about you. Be the hands and feet of Christ to those who may not know him. Be the first to forgive, the first to listen, the first to comfort, the first to give thanks, and the last to leave…unless they are out of Chex-Mix, then it’s ok to bolt.

Ruining Fine Art

98% of my life is spent being completely blasé with what is happening in the lives of celebrities. I could care less who is dating who, where they are eating, and what they were seen driving. Really it just has very little impact on my life, and I think its kind of messed up that they have to be subject to people following them around with a barrage of flash photography. That being said, I was flipping through channels the other day and saw this story about Kobe Bryant and actually started laughing out loud in my room.

I’ve been to Paris, France, and have visited the Louvre. The Louvre is known as being one of the finest art museums in the world, and is home to one of the most well known pieces of art; the Mona Lisa. The Louvre has VERY strict policies about photography…and even more strict rules surrounding flash photography. Apparently the flashes from a camera can destroy older paintings, and so, to preserve art, the security guards at the Louvre are very quick to confiscate cameras if they see you using the flash.

Kobe Bryant was recently visiting Paris, France with his family for a nice vacation after winning the NBA Championship. Photographers found him in the museum and began taking pictures of him with his daughter and wife….he just happened to be standing in front of some 16^th century oil painting by Leonardo da Vinci….this cracks me up. Not only can you tell that people are using flashes…but notice the bright flash that is right ON the Mona Lisa. Lebron James would never ruin art the way that Kobe and his family have contributed to the degradation of one of the worlds finest pieces of art. Kobe is here proving that he is no MVP; Lebron James is a true MVP…Most Valuable Preserver….of fine arts.

Photo Credit: TMZ

Red Arrows Credit: Micah Smith

Never Ending Pong

As anyone who has read more than one of my blog entries may realize, I don’t exactly paint the most attractive picture of myself on here. I mention how I can be materialistic, I that I ‘might’ have a slight problem always buying, wearing, coordinating lots of different shoes and watches, and I mentioned that as a young white male, I listen to quite a bit of hip-hop music even though I’m a Christian and work in IT. I make myself sound like a real catch and this entry is no exception… To add to my list of extremely desirable qualities, I admit that I play(ed) a lot of video games growing up. While I did surprisingly well in High School and College, I easily admit that I spent more time playing Halo than I did studying on any given year…especially my Junior and Senior years of college. Something about belittling a 12 year old boy after beating him in a taxing round of Halo- slayer via my Xbox live headset never seems to quite get old; an exigent task, but someone has to build up and break down the leaders of tomorrow. As a videogame connoisseur, I have played from the newest systems and games, all the way back to the originals on Atari like the fine game of pong. So somewhere between getting my first Nintendo before I attended first grade, and mastering online multiplayer games like Halo through college, I became quite practiced at beating people at video games, and then ruthlessly rubbing their faces in it afterward…And at the same time when/if I lost, I would be the first person to throw my controller and leave the room/be mad at the person who rubbed it in my face the exact same way. Exactly what the call of Christ is for men right? No?

At first glance, the call of a Christian seems pretty simple and straight forward; yet when digging a little deeper, unfortunately things don’t pan out as simple as they seem. When asked by the Pharisees for the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:36, Jesus replied “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ‘This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself”. So, loving God…doesn’t seem so difficult right? He made me, He gave me everything I have, He sent His Son to die for me…He seems like a pretty logical guy to love. Loving other people? That’s not so bad either right? I love my family, I love my friends, I love the people I work with, so that’s not that bad either right? And sure, I occasionally love people who are having a hard time, and I love orphans because they don’t have anything, and I love poor people from other countries, and that seems all fine as well because I have very little contact with those type of people, so it’s easy for me to say that I love them. What about the person that has hurt me though? What about the person whom I trusted with my heart and they let me down? What about that guy/girl that I let into my life who left me? What about the person who sits across from me at work who was talking about me? Where does Jesus mention the clause that I don’t have to love them in the Bible? He does doesn’t he? No? So by ‘neighbor’ he really meant EVERYONE?

Something that God has really put on my heart recently is the idea of forgiveness. I am the first person who is willing to accept forgiveness, either from God, or from other people when I have done something wrong, yet I am also the first person to hold on to a grudge and not let someone go when they have done something to wrong me. I don’t think I am the only one who is like that. We like that feeling right? Letting someone else feel how we’ve felt after doing something dumb. Letting them suffer a little bit like we suffered, while hanging on to that “you owe me” feeling. Colossians 3:13 says “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” So I feel like I am at a place where God is showing me that in continuing to grow in His image, I need to learn how to forgive others, the way that He has forgiven me.

In thinking about my reactions to being hurt, and how others have treated me when I have hurt them, I believe we generally respond to hurt in one of 4 ways. 1) We give it back – this is the easiest and most common way for us to deal with our pain. This is revenge. This is where we say, with regards to our hurt and pain, “I don’t want to live this, so I will do ________ to give it back to them”. We pass it back; you hurt me, so I will hurt you back, probably a little worse than you hurt me just to make sure you feel it. Ever play the game of pong growing up? The white bar hits the little white ball over to the other white bar, and the ball keeps bouncing back and forth. Revenge is relational pong. Revenge is hitting the ball back, but banking it against the wall to put a little English on it just to make sure it sneaks bye their white bar. Revenge is saying “God, I don’t fully trust you to deal with this, so I’m going to do this my way, and I’m going to make sure it makes up for what they did to me.” 2) We pass it around – The second way we can choose to deal with our hurt and our pain is to pass it around to those who live among us. This includes other friends, family members, children, employees, roommates, etc. Someone hurt us, and maybe because of our position (employee to boss or member to organization) or our situation, rather than throwing our hurt back at the person who caused the pain, we choose to spread that pain around to those who come in contact with us. This reaction to hurt is normally inadvertent. We don’t normally choose to take our frustrations and our hurt out on our families and friends, but sometimes we find that in those situations where we don’t/can’t strike back, we spread the pain out on those who are close to us. 3) We carry it – I think our third option for dealing with hurt and pain is to carry it. Load it up, and add to the emotional baggage that we may already be dealing with. “I don’t choose to strike back or I may not feel like I am in a position to hurt that person back, so instead I will just carry the pain”. We bottle it up, we don’t let it show, and we keep on going. This on the outside may seem like a somewhat healthy reaction to the hurt or the pain, but on the inside, it is tearing us apart. We dwell on it; we continue to think about what was done to us, and in some situations, that pain and that hurt can consume us. 4) We forgive – The final response to hurt dished out by someone else is for us to forgive the person that has wronged us.  Forgiveness means refusing to make them pay for what they did; refusing to take control of making things “even”, and turning that hurt, and that pain over to God. With forgiveness, you are absorbing the debt. You own it….and it hurts. It can hurt terribly. Taking the cost of that pain, the price of that hurt on to you instead of taking it out on the other person. Surrendering our right to get even, and taking a step of faith that through that pain, and through that hurt, that God will come through. Do I trust God enough to handle this, rather than me making things even in my sight? Forgiveness is the opposite of relational pong. Forgiveness is taking your hand off the joystick and saying “I’m not going to get caught up in this; I’m not going to be a part of this cycle anymore”

Through forgiveness I believe that we are experiencing in full what God has for us. When we forgive, we turn things over to God’s hands, and we let him be in control. We acknowledge that “getting them back”, is not love, and not how we experience Christ in our lives. Forgiveness also allows us to grow. The full redeeming love of God allows us to see those we have forgiven as well as ourselves in a different way. That hurt, and that heartache can either destroy us, or transform us…but it will never leave us the same. I believe that as we begin to allow God to intervene in our pain, and as we begin to forgive others, he begins to change our hearts. In that process of forgiveness, we are transformed. Where we used to see ourselves as victims, we start to see ourselves through the eyes of Christ. Our hearts are changed, our views are change, and we don’t have to live like victims anymore. Where we used to see those who hurt us as evil, we see them as broken people, living in a broken world just like us. Romans 12:2 asks us to be living sacrifices to the Lord and speaks to this point; “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Rather than passing it on, or spreading it out (the ways of the world – passing it back/on just like everyone else), by forgiving others we are transformed by the renewing love of our Savior who wants the best for us. May we not miss out on the fullness of life that God has for us by getting involved in the never ending battles of relational pong. May we be constantly renewed and built up in our pursuit of our Savior as we seek to live and love like Him in our relationships. May we be transformed and take the path that says “I can’t fix it, I cant make it better, so I give it to You Lord and asking for your healing”…and may we not yell profanities at 12 year old boys who are better than us in video games, because who knows? They may choose to pass it along and yell at my kids one day.

The Nicaragua Life Spark

Admittedly, I haven’t written anything in a long while. I don’t apologize for that. I don’t think it is based on my life being any busier now than before, nor due to lack of any motivation for letting people know what is going on with me….infact, its quite self-involved for me to even give thought to the fact that people could be so interested. I admit it was mainly because of a lack of inspiration; caught up in the mundane. Overwhelmed with the day to day, I really had no desire to post anything because I didn’t have anything that I was compelled to say. No spark. Too busy just taking things day by day to spend any time reflecting on where things were going. Not really a writers block so much as just spending time to purposely be closed off, and to not open up, not let people in. I’m like that; what a catch right? All of that recently changed with a trip I took to one of the poorest areas in Central America, Nicaragua.

I must admit, I initially signed up because I thought it would be cool to see another country, and also to help build some stuff for kids. I’ve got things going alright for me here, so I might as well spread the good-ness of “me” to do something for someone else. What a blessing I must be? Haha. I wasn’t planning on being changed so much as I was planning on changing the lives and conditions for others. I don’t say this to sound like I am a saint, or that I am doing things better than anyone else; I say this because my motivation started off somewhat selfish. I thought that I could give a little bit of MY time to help someone else. I could give me, because that’s what they would want right? My plans and my intentions were changed almost immediately upon arriving at the orphanage and meeting the kids who called this area home. While I have seen teary –eyed infomercials about 3rd would countries on late night TV where crying men and women pick up fly covered kids and walk through a village, it always seemed kind of surreal. Not because the people begging for money are any hokier than anyone else on TV, but because I had never seen anything like that first hand, so it never really had hit me before and never really seemed all that real. Saying that the people of Jinotepe, Nicaragua were poor would be an understatement. They area was desolate. They mostly live in 1-2 room shacks that are not as well built as the storage sheds people in the U.S. have in their backyards. The “homes” are made of cement blocks, and normally covered with a banged up/rusted tin roof. Running water and well wired electricity are a luxury. I admit that being there made me more than uncomfortable. People really live like this? People really don’t have cars where they drive to work everyday and collect a pay check? The answer to anyone being hungry or homeless is because they lack motivation to just go get a job… right? My bubble of thinking that everyone has a life similar to that of my own was suddenly burst. Life exists outside of San Diego, California….outside of the United States….and it isn’t necessarily the same quality of living and opportunity I have grown to know.

As our bus drove to the site, creaking down the bumpy, unpaved dirt road, things got more interesting. Coming out from behind buildings, down the street, peering through fences, and from small side “alleys” (Im not sure if its fair to call a small dirt road off of another, slightly larger dirt road an alley…seems like it should be reserved for pavement) kids came out to meet us. Most of the kids were wearing shoes with holes (if they had shoes at all), beat up sandals, and clothes that were pretty grungy and probably new circa early 1990. I obviously know very little to no Spanish after my enthralling dive into the Spanish language through middle and high school public education in Ohio. (Its bad that the main thing I remember about the high school class was how cute my teacher was. Perfect… that information should really be helpful well in connecting with these kids. Dang you hormones.) We briefly met the children before having a worship service with them in their “pre-school” room of the orphanage. I’m not really sure how I expected it to go. These kids have nothing, they should be miserable, the last thing that I would want to do in this situation is sing songs about how great God is. I was focusing on what the kids didn’t have, the things that they should have….they were singing and praising God for what they did have, not worried about anything else. That being said, the 30+ kids of the orphanage crammed into the small room and sang with more joy than I had seen at any church, ever, in the States. They prayed bold prayers, praising God for all that He had given them, all that He had done for them, and honoring Him with their voices in song. So thankful for what seemed like so little as we would measure at first glance. They sang loudly, and clapped excitedly for a God who has obviously blessed their lives. I tried to keep up, but basically focused on the clapping side of things since the singing was way out of my league. Oddly enough, when you are a poor singer in English, you don’t aren’t better in another language.

Throughout the remainder of the week, my group worked on projects from tiling floors, fixing bathrooms, and building a basketball hoop for the kids to play around on. Throughout the week, God also began to spark my heart with what I believe is the heart of God. There is life outside of worrying about my job, watching the stock market, being concerned with bank accounts, and tracking the relationship of Jon and Kate Gosselin on twitter. (Right? Because who doesn’t like to see a good train-wreck now and again?)

Even now, less than a week back in the US, I am still internalizing the things that God is showing me from the trip. Reflecting on what he was revealing to me, and the people and places he showed me in my time there. While I don’t think I have it all down yet, I know that he is telling me this. “Be careful that you don’t miss Me. Be careful that you don’t get caught up in chasing the things of this world, the stuff that doesn’t matter. Know that I am the God of things so much bigger than your bubble of your friends and work. The joy and peace that I offer cannot be measured; not in money, not in material things, and definitely not in making yourself known. The joy I offer says “I will be glad of what the Lord has made even if I have nothing”. Micah, am I your joy? Do you cherish Me? Am I what you are seeking after? There are a lot of options out there. Lots of things to worship, lots of things that can be dangerous and let you down, what is it that you are chasing? I want it to be me. I have a beautiful plan for you, can I show you?”

And while it seems almost impossible to sum up everything that happened in that week into one entry here, I can tell you this; by the end of the week, I wasn’t leaving thinking about how I have everything and these kids have nothing. I wasn’t leaving feeling like I had come and fixed everything for them…in all honesty, I left motivated by them. I left wanting to experience just a taste of the joy that they had, based purely on the goodness of God and nothing else. I saw joy, and I also saw dependence. I left realizing how much of my life is caught up in the stuff in-between, the stuff that doesn’t matter. I left thinking about the amount of time I spend trying to “get it figured out” and the stress that often causes me. I left with a spark; a desire to chase after what I have been missing. A desire to live with a purpose, rather than just flowing through life and watching things pass me by.

I pray that daily I could be molded and used by God as he reveals his plan for my life. I pray that as I encounter different situations in life that I would be able to approach them with an eternal perspective rather than getting caught up in the details. More over, I pray that I wouldn’t be the same. I pray that I would continue to grow and be changed by the infinite love of a risen Savior who loves and wants to be in relationship with me.

Urgent Care

What a great place to spend an afternoon; an overcrowded room full of miserably sick people. The pale green and light pink chairs set the mood for a wonderful time. Picking a seat may be the toughest part of the day. After a quick inventory of the room, try to find a seat not near any of the sickest looking people there. You always want to have at least a 2 seat buffer between you and anyone else there. If someone breaks that barrier, don’t be afraid to move. You never know what incurable air born pathogen Mr. jeans and tucked in tee may be carrying. Opening your eyes? Forget it. Do your best to squint, and take extra long blinks to make sure nothing too crazy blows its way into your eyes. The urgent care waiting room is a sensory experience; if you want to make it out alive, you have to make use of all of them. Be on guard at all times, leaning if you have to, to eaves drop on EVERYONE there. If something sounds terminal, pick a different seat. If someone is moaning or making sounds of unutterable pain, check for blood near your chair, you never know what vessel may have burst when you took your last long blink. If you smell anything that isn’t the smell of sterile gloves or antibacterial hand cream, get up immediately and point out the culprit so other would be survivors may be in attention of the crowded disservice. Most importantly though, DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING. If that means slinking through closing door rather than pushing it open for those behind you, then do it. It may come in the form of pretending you are deaf to avoid a handshake introduction in the lobby and if it does, feel no shame, its ok. The urgent care is a place where you must look out for numero uno. Socializing will only leave you in a worse position than you were before. Besides, who needs sick friends anyway? Now, if you live in San Diego, like myself, an extra challenge is also presented…try to sit in an area where people are actually speaking English. The unknown dangers of other urgent care patients is enough, don’t up the ante by putting yourself in a situation where you can’t eaves drop on someone else’s problems. Tagalog, Vietnamese, and Spanish seem to be the spoken language of choice at the Mira Mesa urgent care, and the translator app on my iPhone can only pick up so much of a mysterious conversation. All I can hear is urgent care threat level red.

Have heart. Navigating through the Urgent Care is possible, but is not an easy task. Plus, there is always that possibility that you will leave in worse shape than you came.

Opening my eyes this wide for a picture, invited more viruses to enter my body than I may ever know. Guess ill be back in a week to take care of whatever I caught during this shot!

Lust: More Than Meets the Eye

I have a confession. Haha Scary to have a blog entry about Lust and then start out with a confession huh? No, my confession isn’t in the realm of odd sexual fetishes, it’s bigger than that. Many of my friends and family already know this, but here goes: I am a closet hip-hop fiend. That’s right, the nerdy white guy who writes these posts, works in IT, and teaches IT professionals on a weekly basis, is as raw as the streets. No, I don’t drink Colt 45, own a weapon, or even smoke blunts, but I do like hip-hop music. I listen to a lot of Jay-Z in fact. I would say that he is one of the most influential artists in the hip-hop culture, and someone that many artists measure themselves up to. That being said, I was recently listening to a Jay-Z mixtape that featured a song called “History” which I said to be on his yet-to-be-released Blueprint 3 album. (yes, I’m soo hood im normally listening to stuff months before it hits any radio station). Anyway, the song is produced by Kanye West, and is said to be written in response/support of Barack Obama’s run for presidency. One verse in the song really stuck with me; “I just threw on my hoodie and headed to the street, That’s where I met success, we’d live together shortly, Now success is like lust, she’s good to the touch, She’s good for the moment but she’s never enough.” Wow. Rarely do you see verses this deep in any kind of music; let alone a genre that typically promotes violence, drugs, and promiscuity.

When lust is mentioned with regards to the bible, most people immediately think of the story in the Old Testament where David is watching Bathsheba take a bath on the roof, and then eventually “lays with her” (haha I don’t know why I think that phrasing is so funny). The book of second Samuel talks about another lust that is even more interesting though; Amnon’s lust for Tamar. In chapter 13, it says that Amnon, son of David, became “so obsessed to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.” Amnon’s friends/advisors start noticing his declining mood, ask him what’s going on, and he tells them of his obsession for this sister Tamar. After talking with them, they come up with a plan for Amnon to pretend to be ill, and request to David that Tamar come and tend to him while he is sick. Once Tamar comes to visit Amnon, he sends his servent’s out of the room, and he rapes here (2 Samuel 13:9-14). Now, yes, I agree this is disgusting that a woman gets raped, and even worse that it is his sister. What they didn’t cover this story in Sunday School? Anyway, what’s really odd about this story is the information the author offers next. 2 Samuel 13:15 “Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’” How Amnon feels after doing that seems like the last thing we would hear about. We could understand her repulsion, but his? “He hated her more than he had loved her”? What makes Amnon go from this intense obsession for his sister, to hatred; from one extreme to another? Lust.

The word for lust in the Greek language is the word epithumia. It’s actually made up of two Greek words: epi for “in”, and thumos which refers to “the mind”. Lust = “In the mind”. This is important as we begin to define lust. Lust begins with that “if I just….” question in our minds, and lust always promises what it can’t deliver. The things that we lust after aren’t necessarily the issue; it’s the weight that we give them. “If I just lost x lbs”, “If I just had THAT shirt”, “If I just had THAT wife”, “If I were THAT popular”…The idea creeps into our head as if we are missing something, and we spend our time, energy, efforts to fill that hole, fix that gap, capture what is in our sights. On top of that, consider the head-space we give those things we lust over… thinking about them, planning, schema, trying to hope no one notices our missing part. Lust = “In the mind”. Here is where I think Jay-Z’s line is brilliant. “Now success is like lust, she’s good to the touch, She’s good for the moment but she’s never enough”. How true is that? Lust promises something it can’t deliver. Lust may leave us satisfied for the moment, but lust will always leave us craving more, always leave us with something else to chase. Success, fame, money, possessions, the lust never ends. Proof of this is everywhere. Every person who has bought that “fix it all gadget” only to realize shortly after that it didn’t exactly make everything better. We see examples of this in people’s lives. Hip Hop artist Kid CuDi recently announced his retirement after only one album. Why? Fame wasn’t what it promised. The hype of “making it” was bigger than “making it” turned out to be. Something was still missing.

We have so much to enjoy in life, yet spend our time fixated on what we think we are missing. This is why gratitude is so important to the life God has for us. Until we can center ourselves on what we do have, on what God has given us, on the life God has allowed us to live, we’ll constantly be looking for another life. That’s why we see the word remember come up so often in the Bible. God telling his people “remember who you are, what you have seen, what I have done for you”. If we stop remembering, we might forget, and that’s when the trouble comes in. So what if we stopped chasing, stopped comparing, and stopped looking for the quick fix? May you remember where God has taken you, what God has done for you, and be thankful for the life he has given you, not looking at others to compare, but looking to a Heavenly Father who can be the only one to truly satisfy you.

It’s not all bad

The economy sucks, the job market is terrible, and the outlook for the future at times seems bleak. At times like this, it seems like it would be easy to become selfish, and get down. It seems like everyday a new company is announcing layoffs, life kinda sucks at times. Even those who have not been laid off show up to work everyday worried their number is the next to be called. That being said, I recently took a business trip to Cleveland, OH. While on the way to Cleveland, I read an article about Lebron James in GQ magazine that talked about the local economy, and James’s impact on the city. Like many other cities, according to thr article, Cleveland has been the victim of a struggling economy. Either way, while there, I made time to go see a Cavs game. Maybe it’s the fact that I really like basketball, maybe it’s the fact that I like feeling really depressed comparing myself to someone my same age (Lebron) who has become imensly successive, or maybe it’s just because it was a snow storm and there was nothing else going on. Anyway, I scalped tickets and enjoyed the game, but left not really thinking about basketball or how much money Lebron just got for ~35 min of work. See right at the end of the game, they did this promo thing where they were shooting out/throwing mini basketballs. I’m sure they cost the organization all of $.10 a piece, but when you are a little kid, catching something like that is a big deal. When the guy started throwing the balls in my section, he would run back and forth, acting like he couldn’t hear who was cheering loudest, then toss a few balls. There were three little kids sitting in front of me with their parents, and all wearing different variations of a Cavs home/away/throwback Jersey. As I watched this guy running around tossing balls, I noticed that the two of the three kids in front of me caught balls and were really excited. The littlest one cheered even louder after he saw how happy his brothers were with their newly caught sovieniers. Pretty soon, the guy tossing out the balls threw the last one deep into the section behind us, and ran back into the tunnel. The little guy in front of me put is head down, and just stood there. Both of his parent put their arms around him consoling him after his relatively crushing dissapointment. As he started sitting down, still keeping his head down, I see this guy from 2 sections over running across the aisle towards the kid. Not a Cavs guy, but just another attendee of the game. He jumps over a few seats, hands the little kid his ball that he just caught, and ran back to his seat. I’ve never seen a little kid so excited to be like his brothers and so excited to get something so small. He started jumping up and down, waving his ball in the air like it was the best thing in the world. He obviosuly had his night made all because some random guy was looking for an opportunity to make someone elses evening better. He wasn’t looking for an applause, money from the kids dad, or even any recognition. He was just watching what was going on, and wanted to do something to make it better.

We don’t have to settle. Sure it’s easy to get down hearing about the greed of some and the layoffs of many, but we don’t have to let things like that control us. Be the change you wish to see in the world and you will see the world change.

Kick in Groin

I hate change. Not like doing something different in my life, but the kind that sits in your pocket all the time, rattles when you walk, and eventually is lost. The penny could be one of the most worthless items in the US….literally. I don’t carry change, and normally pay for everything with a credit card for the purpose of never getting change in return. Ya it may sound weird but I don’t care, I just really don’t like it. That being said, I went to get some chips at lunch like normal every other day. I put my dollar in (like I said I hate using/owning change) and selected A4 to get my Cheetos on. Let me preface this next part by saying this vending machine has had it our for me ever since I started working here. As my cheetos start to fall, I hear the change drawer from the vending machine…my change due is $.25, and of course I get 5 nickles. Arrgggg. I spit on the machine, kicked in the glass, and went back to my desk.

The Search for Significance

Sometimes I have those days where I put in a long day at work, go to the gym by myself with my headphones on, and head home once it’s already dark. I have trouble finding significance in days like that. I get home, and wonder what I really did today that made this day worth it. It’s in these times that I sometimes find myself searching for my significance.

If you were to watch an E True Hollywood Story on Adam, I think it would be pretty disappointing at best. While most people on there have a pretty exciting party life or celebrity stretch, it only took Adam two chapters of the Bible to live the good life before he screwed things up. By chapter 3 of Genesis, he’s already on his downward spiral…. actually he wasn’t even created until day six, which is mostly toward the end of chapter one, so it really only took him a little over one chapter to mess things up. Regardless, looking at the time he WAS spending in the Garden of Eden, he got to do some amazing things. First off, he gets to take care of this crazy garden that God creates. Imagine the responsibility of taking care of the first garden, ever. On top of that, God brings all of the animals and birds to Adam and lets him come up with the names. I can’t even begin to imagine this type of responsibility. All these animals God had just created, and he lets this man that he created in his own image be the one to name them all. Can you imagine how that would go? Adam spends all day naming these crazy looking animals he has never seen before. God rolls out an animal and Adam spends all of 10 seconds looking it over and comes up with a name like “Kangaroo”. And animal after animal God just sighs and says, “Alright, fine, well call it what you want, but I really wish you knew the work that went into making that one”. I can just imagine towards the end of that day, Adam is real tired of coming up with new names, and God says “This is the last one I promise, just give me one more name” and he rolls out the last animal only to hear Adam think briefly say “I will call this one dog”. Adam sits there snickering to himself as God realizes it is his name backwards and regrets letting Adam do anything, ever. Hahah. Alright, so a lot of that about the naming was possibly just made up, but Adam really did get this huge responsibility of getting to name a large portion of what God had just created. Adam had a significant role in helping to manage and maintain what God had created in the 2nd chapter of Genesis. By chapter 3, Adam and Eve have made a pretty nice mess of things and God reprimands them both by taking away something deep within them. To Eve, he gives her the desire for her husband, yet says that he will rule over her. To Adam, he says “from dust you were made, and to dust you will return.” Buzz kill for Adam. He went from being God main man (actually God’s only man) to being called back to the dust he originally came from. Adam had this huge responsibility, and this really important position to being called a nothing. Adam is no longer as significant as he once was and so starts man’s search for significance.

Everyone wants to feel important, wants to feel like they matter….that they matter to something, that they matter to someone, and that they have some purpose in being here. Unfortunately, in this search for significance, we find ourselves sometimes looking for that significance in the wrong things. We thing “if I had this girl/guy, then FINALLY I would be truly significant to someone”…if I just had this car, or this house, then FINALLY people could see my worth, people could know I am important. In all that searching however, people only find themselves searching more and more, and looking for bigger and better things. Always temporarily fulfilling themselves, but still left wanting for more. The thing is, we are all guilty of it sometimes. In those times, people turn to things like pornography, mistresses, over-spending, or to the abuse of drugs or alcohol to relieve themselves from their pain; to make themselves feel significant.

Here’s where I think we have really 2 main options. We can admit that we have this need, and do whatever it takes to always try to fulfill it ourselves with whatever feels good, and be always left wanting more, or we can take another road. Revelation (The last book of the bible) says in chapter 3:20-21 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.” God says to us all “there is another way, it doesn’t have to be like this, you don’t have to do it on your own, once again, you can find your significance in me.” It doesn’t have to be the way it always has been. Search deep within your soul, you have been created for more than what you are living for.

“There has to be more to life than what I have yet experienced”

Focus

There’s this thing about me; I seem to do really well when focusing on one thing. I don’t know if its because of me or because of something mentally, but I seem to really be able to focus a lot of energy on one thing at a time. It changes throughout the year. Recently my focus was on getting Christmas gifts for my family. Other times it has been working out, playing basketball, my job, etc. I pick one thing and just go all at it. What really sucks, is when I go all out at something and it doesn’t work out for me. When what I think should happen, doesn’t actually happen. When I go to buy that one gift for my brother on Christmas eve that they happen to be sold out of. When I work really hard at my job, but still struggle with teaching certain aspects of visual basic to people. When I play basketball a bunch, yet still don’t play as well as I think I should in a summer league game. When what I think should happen, doesn’t actually happen, I get pretty upset.

Fortunately, I don’t think that I am alone in this. Turns out people have been feeling like this for quite some time. Take for instance the Paul. His one goal later in life was to go around and preach the gospel to people. It’s the one thing he was focusing on, yet he gets thrown in jail. Yea maybe a little more extreme of a goal and a little more extreme of a roadblock than my wanting to play well in a summer league basketball game, but even still, he handles it way better than I do. I get pissed, mainly just mad at myself, and contemplate quitting ever playing basketball anymore, or contemplate just giving up on working out and starting to play video games a lot. I get frustrated and get upset. Paul on the other hand, is just as joyful in prison, as he is when he is out preaching/reaching people, even though he is stuck in prison, and destined to be killed for what he believes in.

In Philippians 4 Paul is writing a letter to the people of Philippi, encouraging them, and letting them in on what is going on with him. In verse 4, Paul says “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say Rejoice!”. A really easy verse to just skip over, especially if you aren’t thinking about the situation this guy is in when he is writing it. But seriously Paul, what were you thinking?? You are sitting in prison, the thing you want to do (preaching) you are unable to do because Caesar doesn’t do well with you talking about other gods and locks you up to be killed. How can you rejoice? When I am not able to do what I want to do, Joy is the last thing that comes to mind, I mean I cant even fake a smile that well when I’m upset. Paul isn’t talking about forcing Joy though, or pretending to be happy here, he is talking about a Joy that goes beyond all worldly understanding. The word for rejoice used here in the original language is “Chairo”. “Chairo” comes from the root word of “Charis” which means gift. This is also where we get the word “Eucharist”, which is the Lord’s Supper/Communion, and translates to “the good gift”. Anyway, to rejoice literally can be translated to become aware of/recognizing the gift. Joy then, is not a fake happy, but an alert awareness of the gifts around us. Joy is learning to discern that God is up to something even in this. Paul is in prison, yet is joyful. He is aware of the gift. The gift of life, the gift of breath, the gift of our forgiveness, even the gift of our entire life. Joy is learning to perceive things that run counter to prevailing wisdom about how the world works. When you get thrown in jail, thats a bad thing since your job is to spread the word of God. He does not accept the prevailing wisdom, and says “ill just write letters, even if no one reads them”. When he gets to prison, he should be bitter, and upset because he can’t do what he wants, but he’s not, he’s joyful, he’s rejoicing. Joy is a disciplined awareness that God is up to something even in this.

Often times those who have suffered are able to have an acute/enlivened since of what real joy is. They have been through certain pain, and when they have overcome that pain, or even learned to accept it, they have a heightened awareness of the gifts they have. Hair never felt so soft to the former leukemia patient, families never felt so close after the passing of a loved one, the birth of a baby was never more of a blessing after a miscarriage. In the midst of the suffering Paul says “Wake up! There is joy all around you. These circumstances are not all there is, you don’t have to react the way the world expects.”

I don’t know how this holiday season was for you, but I know with the way the economy has been going, and with just time in general and people passing, it wasn’t the same as last year. I pray beyond all of that, beyond the presents, the parties, the stuff, that we would stop and be joyful; not focusing on all the negative stuff, but take time to be aware of the true gifts all around us.